Finger Lickin'

When I print something in my office, I have to knock over chairs, crawl over desks and elbow anyone reaching out to pick up any documents from the printer.

Why?

Because so many people lick their fingers with enough saliva to actually dampen the pages of the documents as they flip through. I mean, stick your finger(s) wherever you want, just don't touch my documents with the same finger(s).

And why would you want to lick your fingers anyway after having pressed the elevator button, entered a key code, touched the door handle, typed on your keyboard, rubbed your nose and Gawd only knows what else ...

Lick on.
Hah. Some friends responded in this way:

1 - Ooh ick! That bugs me too.
DH does this when he reads the paper and magazines. A couple of weeks ago he was sick and sitting at the table at breakfast reading the Sunday paper, licking and turning away. I couldn't take it and finally WENT OFF on him. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it did make him laugh and make him aware of how gross he was being. Sheesh!
I think a nice big sign over the copier at work is in order for you: QUIT GETTING YOUR SPITTLE ON MY DOCUMENTS OR I'M GONNA HAVE TO KNOCK SOME HEADS TOGETHER! kthxbai (or something like that)

2. Just relax and try to think about how much it's strengthening your immune system.

3. My smart ass friend Dorth: I've probably just been *crunching really loudly* on salty snacks and I need to lick them clean so I don't get salt all over your papers. LMAO. *snort* XO.

4. Ohhhh gads if there's one thing I can't stomach it's watching people lick their fingers. For any reason. *hurl*

I was at a BBQ and this guy was gnawing his way through a rack of ribs, had BBQ sauce up to his knuckles - not the finger knuckles, his make a fist knuckles, KWIM? He SUCKED the sauce off each and every finger - stuck his WHOLE finger in his mouth and slurped. I had to leave the area, it just about did me in.
Never mind that he's a really noisy sloppy slurpy eater too. Ick.
I always had a printer in my office so NO ONE could touch my papers. People always read things that are none of their business too. It's like "beat it punk and mind your business"