Date me

Why do men put sexual crap into their profiles? WHY?


I have received messages from men on various websites and after checking out the photos (yes, I'm somewhat shallow. Sue me) and reading the profiles, I admit my interest being piqued.


Then, without fail, somewhere in the profile is a mention of sex. Or penis size. Something vaguely distasteful and hanky panky-esque.


WHY?


This morning I received a request for communication on eHarmony. I took a look at the profile and he seemed ok. Fun even. Then, dammit, under "The things I can't live without are:"
"icecream/lovemaking not nec. in that order"

It was the fourth or fifth thing but still. Why include it?

UGH!!!!


We all know you can't live without it. We all know you love it. Everyone does. There is no need to bring that shit up in your profile!


Another message I received:
"hi...you look interesting and would love to know more about you............xx"

Uhm, what am I, some kind of SPECIMEN? Grudgingly, I move to his profile because, hey, he could be a nice guy. Maybe he's just not good at breaking the ice.

*sigh*

Under "The most private thing I'm willing to admit", his response:
"I am well endowed down under.. "

OMG. I cannot take it. I just can't. 

Where is the damned wine? 

Knees, knitting and kneading

I finally became a big gurl and had my knee arthroscopy. *sweats* I dreaded it. I knew it had to be done but instead of pulling on those big gurl panties, I whined and limped and put on the put upon face and martyred myself for many months. 

Talking about postponing the inevitable. Ack. 

So last Friday, I had it done and my ortho and physical therapist and galpals were all right. It was far less traumatic than I previously envisioned. 

Really, I shouldn't have been such a baby. My friend H had so many surgeries on her broken foot I'm sure she lost count. She could have no weight bearing for seven (7, yes 7) long and arduous months. Stop n Shop's Peapod was her BFF. She memorized their entire home delivery list.

She communed with her favorite chair. Now her foot is as good as new but man, can you imagine crutches and no weight bearing for almost a year? I think she probably could have become an aerialist if she wanted to because she could fling herself through the air in crazy ways during those seven torturous months on crutches. And no safety net, either!

So I'm at one week post operative and the knitting is crazy. CA-RAZY. I'm almost done with M's sweater. I had to put it down because, quite frankly, I got tired of looking at it.

The cats are beginning to think I'm a permanent couch fixture so they knead on me constantly. This morning, I was happy they were kneading near me because I awakened just in time to see a horrible, slithery, fast moving centipede going up the wall.

*excuse me for a moment while I scream*

I grabbed a flipflop and crushed it. Then had to calm myself down long enough to go get the Fantastic, paper towels and do my crime scene clean-up. OMG, I hate slithery creepycrawlies. I'm still shaking and it's been about half an hour. Why must they invade us? I don't go outside and slither around their space. I don't dig in their dirt or decide to hang out near their lounge area. If you enter my home, you risk the back of a handy flip flop. If you're outside, I won't bother you. It is a fair deal. Stay. out.

To console my shaky self, I immediately turned to the world inside the laptop and checked out Bloomies cos Bloomies always makes things better. Not that I can buy anything. Buying is a joke at the moment. No, I can't buy anything but I can look. Looking doesn't hurt.

I encounter the Clog Boot(ies).

Let's consider this.

One of the properties of clogs is the openness of the back, correct? UGG has closed up the back yet still calls it a Clog. If you encase a sandal, is it still a sandal or does it now become a shoedal?

The appeal of the damned thing is enough to make me want to try it on. It's the first time I'd actually want to fold down a boot. I've never folded down any boot despite the option because it seemed so 70s Little House but these are funky enough to give it a whirl.  But if I was going to dive in and just buy the whole Clog Boot concept, this is the one I'd get: tall, suede, lean.

Now I'm off to knit more while I ponder my knee. And scan the walls and floors for centipedes. *cry* 

I'm working on Irish Diamond, Hampton Cardi and Lillehammer. Yes, Lillehammer from freakin' 1994? Ok, I actually ordered the yarn kit in 2002 and was freaked out by the charts and overly complex instructions and the general fevered enthusiasm from the Yahoo Groups. Those gals were the nicest and most helpful people I've ever encountered in an online knit group but their skill set was light years ahead of mine back then and I think I was just too impatient to actually sit down and work through it. 

I did go to Staples or Kinkos or some such place and blow up the main charts to Jolly Green Giant size because the intricacy of the charts was lost in the original fairy size. Only Rowan is worse when it comes to teeny tiny maddeningly squinty sized charts. WTF? Someone needs to tell Rowan we can hardly see the chart much less see there are actually little marks inside the stitch square. *rolleyes*