Cat yak ... yuck, no yuks

Misty between yaks

It's the sound that can make you sit bolt upright in bed from the deepest sleep; the sound that has you dropping everything to frantically search for the yakking cat. The minute you leap to your feet, the yakking cat instantly sprints off, just out of reach while repulsively leaving a trail of yak in her wake.

My vet once asked me about the yak and I shuddered remembering. He asked if it was a long tube or a mushy pile. Ick. Can we get more descriptive? How about I scoop up a sample for you next time? *mad* The tubular yak is, illogically, a hairball. I am fighting the dry heaves as I remember.

I have two kitties, Misty and Eve. Eve is a long haired wonder, bullying, fearless, flirtatious, loud, obnoxious and the undisputed Alpha-ette. A trampy little feline who will roll around on her back for anyone who'll rub her ears. From the time she was a kitten, she vacuumed food and promptly tossed it back up. I remember thinking the first time I saw her do it, "Lord, please don't let that be her signature move." Sadly, it is. She also yaks hairballs.

Misty is more regal, snooty, elegant. She sits in contempt. She vanishes when anyone she doesn't know appears. She will venture out later once she's decided the newcomer is worthy. Sometimes she will condescend to allow herself to be petted. When she is feeling affectionate, she is very affectionate: she'll put a paw no each of your shoulders and "hug" you but if she isn't feeling it, don't bother trying to pick her up.

The vet gave me goop to apply to their paws and pills to give them every other day.

Ever give a cat a pill? Yeah. Good times, good times.

The first time, you can cram the pill down the first cat's throat before she knows what hit her. The second cat is pretty smugly looking on, not believing for a moment the same fate is in store for her. Grab her, hold the head back, stuff the pill in, close the mouth and rub the throat, forcing her to swallow.

Eve feigning innocence

You must make sure the pill goes directly down the middle. If it falls off to the side, you're screwed 'cos the cat will hold it in her mouth until you're satisfied she's swallowed it and the instant you release her, she spits out what is now a nasty, wet, disgustingly soddy mass that you must now again try to force in. It can be done but not before the cat is plotting shit on you.

The next time you have to give them a pill, they're on to you and you must decide which one you don't want to chase because once you grab one, the other one is history.

Eve routinely *glub*glub*glub* signalling the beginning of a yak tirade. It is horrendous made more horrendous if it is done while you aren't home or while you're in the shower. Nothing like stepping into a pile of cold cat yak.

Misty's is either clear liquid or wet grey clumps left around the loft and both are keenly aware of what happens when I discover it. They know they're getting a pill that later apparently makes them cry plaintively and they get a good comb out which doesn't bother either in the least.

So all of this to say there is nothing better to do about the yakking other than putting stones into their food (seriously. this slows them down so that they're forced to eat around the stones so that they're not vacuuming), elevating the food dish (can't remember why the vet said that was important but at this point, just tell me what to do and I'll pretty much do it if it means less yak to clean up), giving them anti-yak pills, sticking gunk on their paws that causes the hairballs to slide through them (double ick on that image), combing them out daily.

This is some high maintenance stuff. Pills, fur product, spa treatments and you think they appreciate it? They run like hell when they hear the pills rattling in the bottle. *snicker*