Snorting the entire damned day

True story in my dysfunctional and freaky office.

"Tina" the woman who swears every man wants her (moved a guy she met online into her house with her kids 2 months after she met him and he was still married, about to be separated. She told him to move in, don't worry, she'd pay for everything. ) came in this morning in her skin tight capris, newly blonde hair, new glasses and, and, and

*takes break to dissolve into helpless laughter*

sandals she purchased on a business trip to New Orleans and on her feet ... on her feet are french pedicured fake toenails.

*snort* *snort*

They were bright pink and the whitest white you've ever seen this side of bleach and they were looooooooooong. The nails were over the edges of the sandals.

I stood staring fixedly at them as she talked on the phone. I was mesmerized by those talons ... claws ... she wiggled her toes and it was like Freddy Krueger was wiggling his blades. *snort* But I was perversely fascinated most of the morning. She could climb a tree with those things. *snort*

I went over to my manager's office and whispered what Tina had on her toes and my manager as my assistant who came over to ask me if I'd gotten a load of Tina's feet. She was shell shocked.

Well.

Just before lunch, I went over to "Marissa's" area and she was bent over in her chair staring at the floor beside her. She looked up at me like this: then she pointed.

There on the floor was one of Tina's teeny tiny little toe nails. OMG. She was about to leave a trail of them through the office. I looked at Marissa, she looked back at me and we

I went over to Tina's area and said, "Tina, I found something that belongs to you." And I indicated she should follow me. I pointed at the little pink and white nail. She started picked it up, threw her foot up on the edge of Marissa's desk and reapplied it.

When I was headed back to my office, I saw Marissa, scrubbing the edge of her desk with an antibacterial wipe.
The manager said that she was going to file a claim for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because every time she sees a little white piece of paper on the floor, she jumps and freaks out because she thinks it's one of Tina's toenails.

My office.
From 4.18.2005
Man, never a dull moment.