Barns in the office

There is a woman in my office who brings a huge Ziploc of Cheerios in every day and eats … wait, that’s too civil … snarfs, wolfs, vacuums, snorts them down. Inhale wouldn’t be right because inhaling implies a smooth transition down with no hang-ups. Wrong.

She sits a couple of people away and yes, it is 7:30 when she arrives but still … I can hear her tossing them in and SNAP, the steel trap closing on them. Obviously, she chomps with her mouth wide open because the smell of decimated Cheerios makes it way to my area and I tell you, I want to throw up.

The closest description I can give you is a horse chomping on the side of the stable. An exaggerated CRUNCHCRUNCHCRUNCH CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP CRUNCHCRUNCHCRUNCHCRUNCH. Just imagine the sound you’d make describing the noisiest eater you have ever heard to someone who hasn’t heard it before and that is what The Horse sounds like. And again, I sit two cubicles away. The aroma of chewed up nasty Cheerios. Gaggaggaggag.

I have dry heaves. And I haven’t even begun on the noise and how my body cringes each time the CRUNCHCHOMPCRUNCH begins. The new VP sits RIGHT THERE. I mean RIGHT THERE beside me. Too close in my opinion. VPs need offices but that’s another rant for another entry. He arrives at 7 so he’s held hostage to her Cheerios Crunch Fest. He has to wonder why they put him in the center of a barn. 

I had to walk by her desk because I really didn’t believe a lone human could generate so much damned noise. I casually cruised by and looked over. The Ziploc bag was ¾ empty (Thank GOD! The torment is almost over) and her hand was resting inside. 

Does she really think eating a half box of dry Cheerios is healthy? Did she see a mother give a kid dry Cheerios and think, “WOW, that’s a healthy snack!!” Well, the portion the mother gave to her kid probably WAS healthy. Pretty sure it wasn’t half the damned box.
 

When does she go on vacation so the rest of us can have a vacation?

Blocking is magic

The first time I knit lace, I spent most of the knitting time fretting over the wrinkled up, bunched up pile of glob hanging off the needles. The only thing that kept me going until I completed it was Ravelry. I scoured the site and was relieved beyond measure to see similar blob-like products hanging from the needles of more experienced lace knitters. But how did they get such beauty from Globbedy Blob? I kept knitting, hoping there would be some answer at the end to resolve the balled up mess that grew with each row.

When I cast off and held what should be a shawl, I knew I'd really mucked it all up somehow but knew I would not unravel it and start over. If I couldn't make it look the way it looked in the pattern photo, I would dump the entire jacked up mess into the rubbish bin.

But the answers could be found online and I soaked and nervously pinned and blocked and was absolutely amazed during the pinning. Amateur pinning, to be sure but what was opening under my inexperienced hands was astounding. AND as soon as I realized I didn't eff it all up, I was ready to cast on more lace. 

Lace = crack for knitters.

All of this to say the magic happened again for me during the Shetland Lace Triangle. I used Jo Sharp DK Wool Tweed, which felt like rope by the way, knitting until I couldn't take the rough yarn any longer (almost 5 skeins) and soaked in SOAK then soaked in fabric softener (Downy Lavender or Orchid or some such flowery goodness) and blocked. The shawl, to my delight, grew and grew and grew.
 
Already, I'm thinking about my next couple of shawls and yes, I do have the patterns at the ready. I figured out a way to block this huge thing with just the 4 interlocking squares and I must say I'm impressed with my cleverness. 


Now ... Gawain next? Tangled Yoke? Grace? Or maybe something quick like the DIC shawl. When we went to Stitch House today for their Third Anniversary Party (which was a good time, btw, until we ran out of space. It was quickly time to get out of there because I don't do crowds very well), I saw a gal wearing the shrug and it looked good. She said it barely took 2 skeins and that was good news to me because I have 2 skeins in Ruby River just waiting for something cool to become.

Shetland is dry and LOVE! It blocked beautifully and I have been waltzing around flinging it over my shoulders. It's huge, it's gorgeous and I love it.