People. It's just RAIN.

It's been raining almost 40 days and 40 nights. Enough  with the rain. But more importantly, enough with the "what-do-you-think-all-that-wet-shit-coming-out-of-the-sky-is" driving. There is no acceptable reason a 23 minute drive to my office became an hour and a half two inches forward, brake, stop, sit, one inch forward, brake, stop, sit nightmare commute this morning.

And on top of all that, every impatient, entitlement suffering little arse on the road just had to pull in behind me and try to crawl up the back of my car's ass in their vain hope that pure obnoxiousness on their part would cause traffic to magically disappear.

Pardon me a moment while I roll my eyes so hard I create a migraine.

WTF? Rain, people, rain. Not ice, not snow and all evidence to the contrary, not a typhoon so why in hell did it take an extra hour and 7 minutes to get to work? What is going to happen when a) the kids go back to school, bringing more people out on the road early in the am including those lumbering school buses that if you don't leave your house by 6AM you're screwed because you sure as hell will find yourself crawling behind one allllllllllllllllllll the way to your destination and b) when the first effing snow falls. 

Oh, those two things in combination will be enough to have you scrambling through your glove box in desperate search of a plastic knife so you can saw at your wrists while you sit in traffic.

Winter ... good times to come.

Victory over beads - yeah, I'm a BAD ASS ... *rolleyes*

Clearly, I need a more exciting life. Wait. I need a life. Period. I'm declaring victory over inanimate objects. There is something seriously wrong with that. 

Yeaaaaah.

Well, screw it. I'm grabbing victory where I find it and right now, victory resides in the successful placement of beads in a shawl. And yeah, it is geeky and corny and screw political correctness but ya gotta admit getting so excited over knitting with fucking beads is queer don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I can see your lips twitching at the corners cos you're just as geeky as I am about getting those damn beads to sit properly on the damn yarn. 

*crickets*

Don't act like it's just me!! 


Anyway, the lace is defying my authority a little and the count keeps getting screwy but I'm pretty sure it's me getting sloppy with the yarn overs and stubbornly knitting on when my ass is tired and ready to go to sleep. Whatever. Fixing it is pretty easy and not so stress inducing since I can block the hell out of it when it's done.


I think. 


*whistles*

Bead me up, baby

Beads and I have never hit it off. I always end up flinging them across the room and then cursing like a drunken sailor while I round the effin' things up with a broom and dustpan.

Just like the insane person who keeps slamming his head against the wall thinking things will be different after the next head bang, I came home with another vial of beads swearing things are gonna be different this time. Whatever. It's time to start the lace. If the beads don't work out, the cats will get their workout chasing the suckers around the room.

Hey Vogue, Is that a WEDGIE??

I picked up the new Vogue Knitting while in the yarn store visiting my Knit Geek Buddy.  Annisa opened the box to show us the new issue and we immediately began flipping through the pages hungrily.

We encountered #16 from Rebecca Taylor and both of us actually screeched, "Ewwww!" I said, "She has a wedgie!!"

Why, Lord, WHY would the editor allow this? What was the designer thinking?  Does she have some childhood horror memory of her skirt stuck into her panties as she walked around school and no one told her that has been long buried into the deepest, darkest recesses of her brain? For God's sake girlfriend, go see a shrink! Projection, party of one, your table is ready.

The front of this cardigan like thingy isn't horrible; weirdly shaped with strange sleeves but the pattern is pretty cool. Why in hell she didn't make the back straight escapes me. It just has to go back to her repressed memory of her skirt all jacked up in her panties and it was probably in high school. It's her nightmare relived way of working out the trauma? Whatever it is, that thing will never look as if it's stuck up my butt. Over and out.

I want to not have a queue

Ever have so many projects lined up that you don't know where to start? You look at this pattern then remember that pattern then cast on for another pattern only to feel as if you're neglecting the old pattern and then you realize you haven't knit a darned thing. Why? Because you've spent hours going 'round and 'round in your mind or out loud to your friends or just to your cats. You haven't knit a stitch because you can't get out of your own way.

My queue is stressing me. 

It's full of pretty stuff. Intricate lace. Bulky, toasty sweater. Gorgeous lacy shawls. Cabled goodness. All still in queue, mocking me. 


I'm afraid to look anymore. It's that "ravel it" button followed immediately by the "add to ravelry queue" button that gets me into so much trouble as I saunter across the internet ... I'm going to remove those buttons from my browser, at least until I get the queue under control. Move some items out. Actually knit a few. There's a concept: knitting something in the queue rather than just adding to it every time I sign on. *rolleyes*


No queue = no pressure.


No pressure = happy knitter.

My shawl is growing like crazy. I think I can finish this within a few days if I just concentrate on completing this project before beginning another. 


I think I can. I think I can.

 

Mara me, please

When I first saw Mara, I loved her but when I took a closer look at the styling in the photo, I hated it. Too "I'm a cowgurl and I'm about to eat a big ass lobster and I need a big ass wool bib." And since I don't like seafood, the image burned on my brain of the model with her wool bib pulling up to the table holding a huge knife and fork in each hand with her elbows firmly planted on the table was just too much for me. 


All of this is not to say the model isn't pretty and feminine but the sight of this chick slouching against the wall while wearing her lobster bib, shorts and high heels made me click on the red "X" and look for something else. Is that a barn door she's leaning against or the lobby of a well-heeled restaurant? Is she about to go ride a raging bull? Did she leave her hair salon in a hurry? Is she just waiting for a galpal for drinks?

In spite of all the inner commotion caused by this badly styled photo, I continued to be drawn to Mara over and over. I took a look at other project photos and she began to grow on me all over again. I looked at the remainder of the photos from the pattern and all I can say is, it is truly astounding what better styled photos can do for your garment design. 

(Can someone please, please talk to the "stylists" over at Interweave Press and let them know they do a fairly shitty job of styling what are often lovely garments ... Show-off Ruffle skirt being a prime example ... thanks).   

I have the most glorious yarn for Mara. It was purchased a year and a half ago at Seed Stitch during one of their clearance sales. It was still pretty spendy but not nearly as much as the original cost per skein which was about $25.00 and I think that's obscene for yarn that isn't even 70 yards. I'm not bending over for that. It's Road to China from The Fibre Company and while the temptation is strong to purchase it full  price and feast on peanut butter for the remainder of the month, someone has to reign you in and talk some sense into you. There is pretty yarn and there is pretty yarn on clearance. Indulging in the latter is best for everyone, again considering each skein is barely 70 yards. The color is  Topaz and it's 65% alpaca, 15% silk, 10% camel and 10% cashmere. All in all a fine smooshy, squishy, soft piece of heaven. I cast on last night just before giving in and going to sleep. It's going to be quite something.

Cure for the Greens

Yes, I found even more green and green mixtures in my stash. It is really quite absurd that I have so much of a color that really doesn't excite me very much. Something Must Be Done. 


Since that early morning Green Epiphany, I've begun the long road back to Other Colors. I headed out to Seed Stitch and told myself I would not buy anymore yarn (I didn't) or any more pattern books (I didn't - again, yay me) but I'd exchange the ocean of green Creative Focus Linen I'd purchased there. Five skeins were already put into cakes so I was out of luck on those but the remaining five were still in hanks so I was able to exchange them for a color that is NOT GREEN.

 Is that not a gorgeous lavender? It's far more interesting than the green. Ok, maybe not as interesting but at least it constitutes variation on theme.

This is a very good start. The Cure is to stay out of yarn stores and if I'm in a yarn store, stay by the door while I wait for friends and resist the urge to get sucked in by NEW AND EXCITING new fall colors and IMAGINATIVE NEW PATTERNS.  But fail miserably.  You GOTS TO BE STRONG, I say.


Yeah. That's the plan.